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My Cat is a Zombie

There are a multitude of surprises for the unprepared Zombie: fake blood that stains everything (including your skin), internet “skin” recipes that don’t quite work – and a sudden realisation that inviting everyone else round to get liquid latex all over your living room carpet is not exactly landlord-friendly. But nothing can be more unexpected than discovering that, entirely without you ever having realised, your beloved cat is actually one of the flesh-guzzling undead!

But that’s exactly what happened to me in October 2010. I’d done my homework in advance, of course, and found some fairly simple online recipes for fake blood (in addition to the gorgeous, but expensive, stuff from theatreland’s Charles Fox). Daisy was her usual curious self during the preparation, watching as I splashed a mixture of flour, glucose syrup and food colouring across a torn corset. As I stepped back to leave it to dry, and she rushed forward, I thought it was simple interest in the new addition to the flat. And then she started munching away.

Of course, that was when I realised my eventual fate. I suppose it became inevitable when I first moved into my one bed flat, with only Daisy for company. All this dressing up – well, it’s just a rehearsal for the big event – maybe years from now, maybe tomorrow! When the neighbours notice the smell, and the police break down the door of my flat, only to discover this:

World Zombie Day: cat preparation

rehearsal for the inevitable

This year, just to be on the safe side, I might shut Daisy in the garden while I get ready…